Monday, February 27, 2006

Dreaming Away

im sorry those who were worried sick when they read my blog, esp aunt linda, aunt molly,aunt kimmy to my mum esp . i guess its been a rough patch these couple of mths . but most of d time it has been since i left kch for LA . its like im riding this roller coaster when i step thru d terminal of kch airport on 13th dec 2004 . its been up n down till now, but overall im still hanging on am i . problems keep coming n hitting me in the face there were so many times i wanted to just give up n pack my bags n go back home . but iv chosen this path myself, to come n search for a new life . i guess it comes with a heavy price n with that, strong dreams must be a must .

well the weekend was spent in the utmost laziest way u could ever imagine, for the whole friday, i was just at home watching anime n surfing blogs, doing nth, on sat the same .. d whole day n nite . till sunday, i went out with my girl to palos verdes, a place south of redondo beach, its an estate really where koreans n white ppl live, but i remembered a park where there was once i got lost with my mum lookin for a college n ending up there . with the beautiful blue californian sky n the waves by the side, d sun in ur face, with kids running around without care . fresh air was the answer to a perfect relaxing sunday ..

i guess even with all the odds or whatever odds there may or would be, i am here already am i . ill maximize wat i have in hand to acheive wateva i can ..

i always run from problems n i would always envy other ppl esp when im stuck in a situation, i was thinkin the other day, how nice if we all could go back in time n change wat we done wrong in the past, i was thinkin wat would i change if i could go back in time .. so dat i wont b this miserable sometimes .. but i tot .. mayb iv changed it already, iv took the step .. im already better than wat i was .. or if there was ever .. a 'was' . anyways just a thought .. i am wat i am .. nothings gonna change that

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Somebody Shoot Me

ok lets see, im gonna list down a few situations u can b in n u can think abt it , which one would u b in . alrite

a) u work ur ass off at the restaurant every single day eating d same food at the restaurant u work at so that u can save money to pay for ur school, n by the time u saved up to around 700usd+, that mayb takes 3/4 of a month, u lost ur wallet, ur local id, driving license and all the money u work ur ass for, the extra delivery shifts that u take on the weekends, the shitty tips u get, all for nothing . and u lost it while new year's eve and xmas eve was around d corner .

b)u bring ur friend around town n decided to bring him to vizit d famous beach, as u were playing ball as usual, ur tendon in ur arm as shown on the pic above, got hit by an elbow of some 6"foot guy, ok, no big deal, u felt a little numbness at first n u pushed on just to make sure u dun make a wuss out of urself, later on that nite u cant even lift ur right arm no more . and for a week already u still cant put it straight, so u have to take off from work, meaning even less or no money at all, now lets not relate case a. with case b. oh yea n ur working to pay ur school fees .

c)ok another case, u injured some part of ur body part a weekend b4 d big snowboarding day, so not only d pain from the injury stop u from doing wat u love, like playing basketball n going snowboarding, lets not relate case a&b to this one k, u cant do wat u love, n addition to that u have to pay 100usd cz u couldnt find anybody else to take ur place to go snowboarding .

d)ok seperate case from a,b&c, u wake up 630am in the morning to hit traffic for nearly an hour to get to school, sit there in class 745am - 815am, teacher was late, didnt teach anything, talked abt how hectic her life is n her husband's injury, so basically waited till like 840am n when she arrived, taught u nothing at all, didnt take attendance n class ended 15mins earlier than usual, ok so u got another class at 345pm - 5pm so u stayed in school the whole day, (since u have no job or cant work), know nobody at school, zero friends, nobody to talk to in a school which consist of 32000 students, so i guess the most u can do is stay around the cafeteria to check out girls or either stay in the library n stay online for like 6hrs n 25mins just to wait for that class, when the time came, u went to class n u see a notice on the door saying 'class cancel', so besides the fact that u can go home early without traffic, u have to go home during peak hours, n take about 45mins to get back home...

of the 4 cases, just choose one which u think is d nicest, by the end of d day today, i wasnt angry or pouting, i was laughing when i was driving home thinkin about all those things that happen to me . really, it still amaze me wat life can bring u sometimes .. i was thinkin mayb on d way back some big trailer could crush into me to break my legs n car, or mayb some pipe could hit thru my eye, losing one eyeball or just might as well use a cutter to take out my heart n crush it into a million pieces .. i was thinkin abt home when bad things happen, but in a row .. home aint gonna help me now ..

ill sell my soul .. if that wat it takes ..

Monday, February 20, 2006

The New Routine

these two pictures up here , college library that doesnt open 24hrs like the other big schools like UCLA or USC, but better than INTI Kuching i guess, but its a good place where you can get peace and quiet or browsing around blogspots or friendsters . anyways , been really bz these days with my new routine, school has started and mon - fri , i have to wake up 630am to beat the traffic n by the time i get to school, is almost 8am already, be in in class till 920am and head to the restaurant n work till 3pm and half of the week i got to head back to class at 345pm n be there till like 500pm n by the time i finish, drive back home with the traffic . if im lucky ill b home by 6-7pm .

what more to say i injured my right arm at venice on friday, i cant even put it straight right now, luckly today its a holiday for me . but better get it ready by fri, cz snowboarding time is here again. and after that . i guess its hardwork all the way.. but i guess everythings comes with a price, how naive could i be when i thought leaving kch would straight land me on paradise, well i guess its paradise in it's own way . getting to exp things that i could never exp in Kuching .

its not that i dun wanna update, its just that i got caught up these days with my new routine, thats all .