Sunday, April 30, 2006

Color, The Spelling Of American English

"color" is the american spelling as for british english, it would b "colour" . above is the color of cheese + chocolate cake that i had few hours ago at a restaurant called 'cast away' located north of downtown Los Angeles . the other picture is me wondering what am i, what have i created of myself . its weird feeling, for i have been living in this city of 17million ppl for more than 16mths . months after months, the location is the same, but the feeling and d color of d city month after months change, i remembered the 1st day, d color was white and was so eagerly to b painted diffrent colors, as i move along, somedays it was gray n black with d clouds, somedays it was blue clouds and happy endings, some were tears of sadness n loneliness, so many colors, d colors of my 1st summer was great too, full of excitment and yet so little cash i had in my pocket, even till the extent it was hard to buy myself a meal . but recently d colors has been more stable, its not changing so drastically . after d recovery of my arm, iv been ballin alot at the beach, hitting Js, breakin ankles .

like 2nite at d restaurant dining with my mum and caterine, theres 17million ppl in this city, and what fate n luck we had 2 b there eating n smiling together at that table . i had dreams of living overseas, n im currently in d dream, till sometimes i feel like i want to b in a dream that i forget that actually im in the dream itself .

on monday may 1st, mexicans and immigrants are gonna go on strike, most of them not going to school and are not gonna work, even the ones working at my restaurant, that is wat they have said and plan on tv n in off tv . if that were to really happen i wouldnt imagine how much money would b lost in the economic market of Los Angeles . they are goin on strike cz many of em have been living in the states for years and still are branded and exile 'illegal' . im really lookin fwd for the outcome and the extent of their doing .

- god speed to the colors of Los Angeles -

Friday, April 21, 2006


somewhat . couldnt sleep in this mid spring friday morning . woke up at 230am . couldnt go back to sleep . so hit my ipod with tiesto's music again . kinda refreshing and slightly heading to the right mood . was thinkin about the past again . esp d past 2 days . i miss those fridays i had . was talkin to my chef about it . i told him how i wake up on friday mornings excited about the whole weekend . goin to the office at first . finish work at noon . head to the car wash . then resting at home till 4/5pm . ballin time . after a few superb games . will go home and rest till friends come n pick me up . and off to the bars we head . checkin out chiqs and getting tipsy . i know how to have fun .. totally . but now .. all i do is create excuses for myself to hide from the outside world . to hide myself during the weekends . i have no drive or urge to hang out with anybody . its like i totally lost my will to survive . every friday its like every monday to me . its no diffrence . nothing exciting is gonna happen . just keep on making excuses for myself . n yet i know every 'moment' or present that we live in will perish sooner or later . nothing will ever stay the same . dun u feel its sad . that nothing will ever stand in a place . eternity that is what man seek . but even time itself will perish . knowing that even right now . this moment . iv never work this hard for something in my whole life . its been a long time since i started this endless routine of mine . hardly interacting with any humans, except a mexican chef and a el savadorian dishwasher . sadly to say . its the only 2 friends i interact with daily, one doesnt even speaks english . i dun even get the chance to dress up like i used to . i only use my black shirt n pants for work 5 days of the week . i am prisoner of my own design?.? am i?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Snow Surfer

sometimes in life we have to give n take . spring break just ended yesterday, aint much happening the whole week . i had to work still . so not much of a spring break n also it aint like i know lots of ppl in college to go to some party or anything, just working n having more sleep than usual . but when the weekend came, iv already decided to go snowboarding last couple weeks, due to my injury of my right arm, i din make it to the last 2 snowboarding trips, so i got to make it up . went snowboarding again . listenin to tiesto's 'in search of sunrise 5' while on the lift up the mountain n d clouds hovering in . pure heaven . euphoria and adrenaline felt . it was a good week overall, ballin, snowboardin, watching movies life aint too bad afterall .

the ones who are lucky only realized that till the end, for all of us have to realized we were lucky yesterday is when we realized how unlucky we are today . for we would never accept that we are lucky today . for only we realized that we were lucky when we are unlucky

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Category: Friends

1st of all . about 7yrs ago, a person named balan told me . 'not all people that speaks to u are ur friends'. so i was kinda so into it . when i think abt it . not all ppl who speaks to me are my friends . so wat are friends? pretty tough question i guess .

anyways this entry wasnt suppose to b here this soon, i was slowly drowsing into sleep at around 1+ in the morning, suddenly my chef called, george. he called n said he was checking out my blog n pictures. so i asked him to sign in his messenger, so i waited in front of d computer for 40mins, which he never did sign in . i dunno why . i never did got back to sleep, thats why im writing this .

anyways back to my topic . wat is a friend? well for me. a 'friend' is totally a diffrent version from wat normal ppl consider friends to be . i think u got to check if ur name is in my phone or not, mayb ull qualify to be a 'friend'. thats just maybe, even if u do, u may still not qualify as a friend, coz i only keep 3types of ppl's name in my phone, family, friends and ppl i have use for . im like a parasite, i cant deny that. well 2nd of all to be a 'friend' i guess u have 2 b 'close', like knowing where he/she lives and wats goin on in their lives n shit . not just saying hi n bye once in a lifetime could consider to b a 'friend'. or even see each other on events and go like 'hey how u doing, its been a while' etc . thats just plain bullshit . those ppl askin that, think again, most likely they dun even care if ur doing good or not or ur still alive or buried 6feet under, they just being polite n asking for the sake of conversation, so they wont seem like an asshole . so i wont deny this, for those type of ppl, they can die in an accident or get kill or watever, basically disappear from the face of the earth, he/she wont even bother me if i dont get to see their faces again, if their existence has been erased. they are the same category with those homeless ppl i see on d streets . they dun matter to me . most likely, when they die, i wont be goin to their funeral, neither would i expect for them come to mine. i have experimented with those funerals before, there was a guy who wasnt close to me, but i knew him n he knew me. couple years ago, he died in a car accident, his car crashed into a tree, some ppl told me that he died . tell u d truth, i din give a fcuk abt it . seriously, even if dat person din tell me . it would b d same, makes no diffrence in my life . some ppl are trying to act so nice n they can save the world . but from my eyes . this is reality . so bite it

p.s so i guess i know quite a number of ppl, an average person knows about 300ppl i heard . i myself know about 500 or more, but i have only about 5% or less are in this category that i considered as a 'friend' . for those who consider me as a 'friend' of urs with just saying hi n bye. thats too naive n basically stupid . think again, when u ask me 'how am ur doing' and all those other bullshit .

- peace -

Sunday, April 02, 2006


One new thing I learnt this weekend:

You scored as Posion. Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it. Several important people in history share your fate.















Cut Throat


Natural Causes










How Will You Die??
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