Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Eye For An Eye

*paragraph missing due to request*

in less then 24hours ill be on a plane for the first time in nearly 4yrs, heading east, 6hour flight, 3time zones, to the big apple, a vacation finally, besides my snow trips, im finally spending on something besides the snow, well a big part of the decision was cause this person that iv met for 2 days is flying me out . is it something in the air? is it the chemistry? substance? but i followed my heart and this is where it leads me .

but i cant deny im also going against my own theories and principles that a long distant relationship is non existence in this world, its a ghost r/ship, its for the weak hearted, to those who are afraid to be alone . to create something that is non tangible to believe they are not alone in this world, we are born alone and we die alone . in between we may meet people along the way, but who can stay with you throughout the journey? not many i think . what more to say long distant relationship .

after the girl who left me to new zealand and never came back, i vow never never to be in a long distant relationship again in this life . waitin for something that never return .

but ill flow with it and see what paths open for me .

i will stay strong . or to some i will stay a coward who doesnt dare to love? who is afraid to get hurt? but i will try my best to protect myself for non is out there to protect others .

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Lost In The Moment

7 days has passed, total of 8 days since i met her . iv no idea why im in a state of mind right now . within 2 days, she took my world away from me, made me hurt people i care about . it made me feel the old me .. 8yrs ago . how ironic it is 4yrs ago, i flew 8776miles to stop my tears, to stop seeing shadow of a person who broke my heart . i vow to myself to never never let me back to that pit again, to that place where my world crumbled down to pieces because of another person .

almost 5yrs has passed since that person step out of my life . and iv became a different person who i think is a better way to live this life . iv became very selfish and i thought it was happy, cause i would never get hurt again or cry for days because of a person, i thought iv stop being naive . iv grown .

and here comes this girl out of nowhere with blonde hair come galloping out of nowhere took of my shades and gave me this gigantic hug out of nowhere . i was lost in the moment during that split second, i was thinking to myself "who is she?" "why is she so happy to see a stranger whom she never met before?" "maybe cause its the party this weekend, we all are hyped up, maybe she is too" . many questions ponder my mind, and i never could get an answer .

i guess after 8 days of calculating and trying to conclude what has happen, i still have not come up with a legit theory . i can only tell myself, it was the chemistry, chemical reaction, something was in the air, she made me feel a way i havent felt in a very long time, she made me hunger for her, she makes the air i breathe fresher, the colors i see brighter . within just spending 2 days together . i went all out, dropping everything i had .

i found this feeling iv been telling myself that it doesnt exist in this world for me anymore, i had my chance and i blew it . but deep inside i was still hoping one day it would just appear out of nowhere .

and it has ...

how ironic her name is the same name that made me fly 8776 miles away from home, and now im about to fly 2500 miles, jumping through 3 time zones just to spend merely few days with her .

her name is michelle ...