Monday, January 08, 2007

The Return Of The Son



i called my mum, telling her that im goin home today, on the phone, i can hear her voice of excitement to see her son again after more than a year since i moved out, the same time i can hear her tone that is worrying about me to see or hear me again like those endless days of tears . she called again couple hours later to make sure she didnt get her hopes too high incase i changed my mind the last minute . so im where i was 2yrs ago . it was fun, and i learn alot throughout the journey, we shared tears and laughter along the way . but i guess i couldnt get over myself, for being so selfish . the thing is, im still searching for myself, to see who i am, to see where im going . its so hard at the same time, when i said i dont have a career, with no money, the fact is it doesnt change everything, but it does help . im not complaning about my job, the money is not super, but it aint the worst . just that ih have to put alot of hours in it . that concludes that it takes away alot of my time, and that means it taking away 'our' time . so money always helps no matter how you view it . but its all good . its time we take a break or a 'full time out' as they say baller words . its time we take a breather and to see who we are, and see what do we need and want . well, at least i need to find out, to refine, to do a lil soul searching, at the same time we can do the things we couldnt do all this while . i may sound selfish and self-centered, maybe i am . maybe i do need to grow . but no matter what it is . its the call we made for now . things would b better .. for sure

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I quit asking myself the "who am I" question. Instead, I accept me as me and work towards "who I want to be". But meanwhile, appreciate people around you, and not loose them in the process of soul searching!

-Janedoe

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

reading this post over and over again since the first sec of time out just to conviced myself that "don't dream, it's over". The last movie that we watched together seems like the best theme ever to describe our call.
I couldn't remember since when my life has infinite you taking over me until I couldn't take you out of my mind even for just one second. i live with tears, nightmares, memories since you've gone everyday, every night, every minute. It's so hurt and torture to live alone at this small little room that filled with our memories. Today is the 5th day, i still woke up with tears on my eyes and hoping you are right next to me. I wonder how many days like these are waiting ahead of me?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous veroniaz said...

sometimes it's hard to be ourselves. sometimes we need to set up responsibilities to keep us doing something and at least a reason to move on. sometimes is most of the time. just do what u should and maybe then add on what u want... that's all.

6:05 AM  

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