Friday, June 22, 2007

Death Is A Design



the fan is twirling full speed, the light is shining brightly in the room, the keyboard on the laptop feels warm . and the music is pumping thru the headphones like its nobodys business . and the thoughts that keep turning in and out of my head is that i think im sick in the head . i love emotional torture . i love to feel sad, i hate to be happy, i love the feeling of anger . i feel no sadness for people's lost or death . i dun expect anyone to feel sad if im gone or perish from this face of this world . i love the pain in my heart . it makes me feel alive . i love to see blood on my body . like couple months ago . i flew couple feet of the ground and crash onto ice . my beanin flew away, my goggles were buried in the snow . i was spitting blood, my lips were all bit . my nose was bleeding . blood came down streaming down my face . but i love it . seeing all that red on the white snow . makes me feel iv pushed myself .
last nite abigail messaged me on msn asking how was i doing? why in the world would she want to know anyway? our lives doesnt revolve around each other . we only know each other by name . slightly better compare to the guy that pass me on the freeway this morning . we say hello when we see each other just for the sake of asking, theres no sincerity in those 'hi's and 'hello's . i wouldnt care if anyone perish tommorow . i wouldnt xpect anyone to care about my death, it would occur tommorow .
maybe one day when i gather all my guts . there should be some adrenaline in cutting myself .


p.s 5 miles is the lenght of our friendship . and i thought his my 'closest' buddy here in LA

3 Comments:

Blogger cooknengr said...

Take up hard core kick boxing, you'll love it!

7:07 AM  
Anonymous venessa said...

Not only you need to open your eyes to see the world, you need to open your heart and your arms! You better open wide enough to take all the fun and love from your surrouding!! You might realize, that's too much to take.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous S2theeven said...

yea, had me worried for a bit, bro. All over a stupid joke? Better listen to the Psyc major down there.

10:42 PM  

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