White Out

first lift/first mammoth of 2008

backcountry/mammoth

white out is what some snow people such as myself or self proclaim snowboaders call it . total white out, where the storm hits so bad .. blizzard-like . everything turns white, cant see how steep is the slope, your goggles fog, everything on you and around you freezes up, you lost sense of gravity and balance, your lips are numb, you are pratically breathing ice . words dont do justice when you are in heaven .

powder slashing, backcountry riding they call it, after 29 runs on the mountains, i finally experienced my first powder surfing, where pure white fluffy lil sparkly dust are basically almost to your waist, digging yourself out of the hole when you sink in, quietly as you feel your floating on clouds . untouch powder is what some named it .

my obsession has grown to another level, it has become out of hand, out of control . i dreamt of the slopes when im hanging out at the beaches, i close my eyes, i see myself speeding down the hill, music pumping into my skull, my heart cries out in joy, this is what it feels like to be on clouds . the sun piercing out through the clouds hitting the trees covered with whiteness . that is what the obession used to be like, it has turned into gluttony . i have passed that level of obession . what i want now is to wake up every morning and decide which trail to run on for a few hours before i hit lunch time . i really dont mind working as a janitor . i dont mind giving up the massive raves i hit so often, or dancing in the clubs of hollywood with my friends . i dont really mind to be poor . i dont mind wasting rest of my 20s on the powder, i have spent thousands of dollars i work my ass off thrown on the powder . i dont mind spending the remaining years of my 20s on the snow . usually when i want something bad enough, it always end up mine . im willing to trade in my precious daily internet, my venice beach, my basketball, my social drinks and parties with my homies . im willing to be lonely and getting to know new people again . i just wanna wake up every morning choose which color burton or session jacket im gonna match with my billabong or dc pants, which shaun white board im gonna use for the day .

"nobody likes this sport like me in this whole cabin" i said to my girlfriend . i dont really deserve her, especially with this obession in my heart .

when im on powder, when im standing above the clouds, i feel like my body is floating, i feel my heart is in solace .