Monday, May 11, 2009


this is how her screenname was spelled about 8 years ago, i was about 140lbs and naive, i havent seen her face or touched her skin for more than 6 years . we met in college, i would like to believe it was fate that we were sitting in the lobby, we didnt had classes on fridays, and we started talkin as strangers, we started hanging out, for a few weeks, it was just pure chemistry, she was with another guy, and i was with another girl . couple weeks later i told her about this girl i liked alot and i had no guts to tell her, and wasnt sure if she liked me back, i drove her back in the old crappy car i had singing to the same song, jay chou's kai bu liao kou, and finally we got to her friend's place, i told her i wanted to talk to her for a while, and finally got my balls together and told her i liked her, she was speechless, i remember the night was calm, stars were in the sky and she thought i was joking and we continue on with our conversation .

couple weeks later, it was just the two of us hanging out by this 'lake' outside a library, we were sitting pretty close and she turned over and kiss me on the lips, ive kissed a girl before her in my life, but for some reason i could never remember all the kisses i had before that one .

she was for sure the girl i was gonna marry, the girl from my dreams . we were the couple of the century, match made from heaven, bonnie & clyde, my partner in crime, she was more than my girl, she was my buddy, she was my bff if put it on that term, shes funny, tall, sarcastic, witty, smart, sexy, cute, lovable, wears glasses, we had matching outfits, bought our expensive stunner shades at the same place, all the ingredients you ever needed .

i told myself, if she was the only girl i can have sex with for the rest of my life, i would be content, and i was barely 18 when i met her, when a dude should have banged at least near a 100 in their lives, no?

we would be buddies when we hung out with the guys, so we didnt had to make the others feel discomfort and we would get cozy once we're alone . i hate to admit it, but it was the best 3years of my life . when im outside without her, people would always ask "wheres your mimi?"

one day she left overseas to pursue her studies and promised me she would be back after 18months, that time never came . and i had to get out of where i was, i was crying day and night, even when im eating dinner with my grandma . and finally i made the decision to travel 9000 miles away so i didnt had to face her shadows .

few months later, she told me shes moving in with someone, and we shouldnt keep in contact anymore, cause she didnt want to have issues with the new guy . being the loser, i even contacted the new guy and asked him to take care of her the best he can .

i cant even remember the last time i talked to her, i remember she told me she was going home for a visit, and shes bringing the guy home too .

i really hope shes as happy right now, when i was at that point in my life . i do not believe in love anymore for many years now, but deep down inside, i still wish i would get sweep off my feet and be back into that naive state i was, i still hope for it everyday, but the sad part is, i know it aint gonna happen, cause iv gained experience in life and got to know that part of my life happened cause i was young and i didnt know any better .

i still dream of her sometimes, like maybe once or twice a year? her smiling face in my dream but once i wake up, i feel a lil empty . is that a sin? i cant control my dreams ..

dreamed last night ...

0168687183 used to talked to 0168921129 alot


Blogger cooknengr said...

Hey, that is a awesome write up. You got that keh-leng-keh-see, Sean Penn look back then...totally babe magnet.

7:11 AM  
Blogger Elaine Clermont said...

love hurts!
then, usually, love heals.

at least you know what it felt like, and when you experience it again, you'll recognize it. and with the experience of the past, i bet you don't let her move away or find a way to stay together!

keep dreaming!

peace & harmony,
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

2:50 PM  

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