Count Your Blessings

its 2:12am . about 15hours ago . i woke up . i saw the sun, wind was blowing strong outside the window . i was excited about life and its potential . i was craving for life . and 15hours later, things has turned 180 degrees . my saviour, my closest person iv been sleeping next to for months, told me shes in that hesitation mode again . she doubts herself, doubts me, doubts us, doubts the potential that we are able to acheive, iv been fighting over and over for a while now to build this power house of trust, to tell her to take my hand and ill lead her to the promised land, even if it means die trying . yet she has so many fears and doubts that it might fail, that its a risk, that it will mean losing everyhing to her and gaining nothing but a shot at life.


i took two sleeping pills, i hate the fact that my emotions are so messed up that i need sleeping pills to help me to sleep, to overcome this wall of emotions that im climbing . im not asleep yet . this is one of the toughest times in my 25yrs of life . its the darkest of all times . i have not work for almost 6 months, i cant go to school . i cant do anything . my life has been put on hold, and i feel like i see the light and im almost there, then i look back to find that im nowhere near the light .


iv been following tsewer beta for many years now, he has produce a few tracks that is absolutely worth paying to it in your ipod . "count your blessings" is one of em that im listenin to now . i feel it tells an amazing story and it help keeps me sane . cause it reminds me not to swallow the hold box of sleeping pills, it reminds me that im stronger than that, that i can overcome this and look back and laugh . it reminds me to count my blessings, the blessings i have, my family, my health, my sight, my hearing, my touch .


sometimes we all just forget how beautiful we are and we need something to reminds us that we are, indeed beautiful .


www.myspace.com/tsewerbeta