Dreaming Away

im sorry those who were worried sick when they read my blog, esp aunt linda, aunt molly,aunt kimmy to my mum esp . i guess its been a rough patch these couple of mths . but most of d time it has been since i left kch for LA . its like im riding this roller coaster when i step thru d terminal of kch airport on 13th dec 2004 . its been up n down till now, but overall im still hanging on am i . problems keep coming n hitting me in the face there were so many times i wanted to just give up n pack my bags n go back home . but iv chosen this path myself, to come n search for a new life . i guess it comes with a heavy price n with that, strong dreams must be a must .

well the weekend was spent in the utmost laziest way u could ever imagine, for the whole friday, i was just at home watching anime n surfing blogs, doing nth, on sat the same .. d whole day n nite . till sunday, i went out with my girl to palos verdes, a place south of redondo beach, its an estate really where koreans n white ppl live, but i remembered a park where there was once i got lost with my mum lookin for a college n ending up there . with the beautiful blue californian sky n the waves by the side, d sun in ur face, with kids running around without care . fresh air was the answer to a perfect relaxing sunday ..

i guess even with all the odds or whatever odds there may or would be, i am here already am i . ill maximize wat i have in hand to acheive wateva i can ..

i always run from problems n i would always envy other ppl esp when im stuck in a situation, i was thinkin the other day, how nice if we all could go back in time n change wat we done wrong in the past, i was thinkin wat would i change if i could go back in time .. so dat i wont b this miserable sometimes .. but i tot .. mayb iv changed it already, iv took the step .. im already better than wat i was .. or if there was ever .. a 'was' . anyways just a thought .. i am wat i am .. nothings gonna change that

Somebody Shoot Me

ok lets see, im gonna list down a few situations u can b in n u can think abt it , which one would u b in . alrite

a) u work ur ass off at the restaurant every single day eating d same food at the restaurant u work at so that u can save money to pay for ur school, n by the time u saved up to around 700usd+, that mayb takes 3/4 of a month, u lost ur wallet, ur local id, driving license and all the money u work ur ass for, the extra delivery shifts that u take on the weekends, the shitty tips u get, all for nothing . and u lost it while new year's eve and xmas eve was around d corner .

b)u bring ur friend around town n decided to bring him to vizit d famous beach, as u were playing ball as usual, ur tendon in ur arm as shown on the pic above, got hit by an elbow of some 6"foot guy, ok, no big deal, u felt a little numbness at first n u pushed on just to make sure u dun make a wuss out of urself, later on that nite u cant even lift ur right arm no more . and for a week already u still cant put it straight, so u have to take off from work, meaning even less or no money at all, now lets not relate case a. with case b. oh yea n ur working to pay ur school fees .

c)ok another case, u injured some part of ur body part a weekend b4 d big snowboarding day, so not only d pain from the injury stop u from doing wat u love, like playing basketball n going snowboarding, lets not relate case a&b to this one k, u cant do wat u love, n addition to that u have to pay 100usd cz u couldnt find anybody else to take ur place to go snowboarding .

d)ok seperate case from a,b&c, u wake up 630am in the morning to hit traffic for nearly an hour to get to school, sit there in class 745am - 815am, teacher was late, didnt teach anything, talked abt how hectic her life is n her husband's injury, so basically waited till like 840am n when she arrived, taught u nothing at all, didnt take attendance n class ended 15mins earlier than usual, ok so u got another class at 345pm - 5pm so u stayed in school the whole day, (since u have no job or cant work), know nobody at school, zero friends, nobody to talk to in a school which consist of 32000 students, so i guess the most u can do is stay around the cafeteria to check out girls or either stay in the library n stay online for like 6hrs n 25mins just to wait for that class, when the time came, u went to class n u see a notice on the door saying 'class cancel', so besides the fact that u can go home early without traffic, u have to go home during peak hours, n take about 45mins to get back home...

of the 4 cases, just choose one which u think is d nicest, by the end of d day today, i wasnt angry or pouting, i was laughing when i was driving home thinkin about all those things that happen to me . really, it still amaze me wat life can bring u sometimes .. i was thinkin mayb on d way back some big trailer could crush into me to break my legs n car, or mayb some pipe could hit thru my eye, losing one eyeball or just might as well use a cutter to take out my heart n crush it into a million pieces .. i was thinkin abt home when bad things happen, but in a row .. home aint gonna help me now ..

ill sell my soul .. if that wat it takes ..

The New Routine

these two pictures up here , college library that doesnt open 24hrs like the other big schools like UCLA or USC, but better than INTI Kuching i guess, but its a good place where you can get peace and quiet or browsing around blogspots or friendsters . anyways , been really bz these days with my new routine, school has started and mon - fri , i have to wake up 630am to beat the traffic n by the time i get to school, is almost 8am already, be in in class till 920am and head to the restaurant n work till 3pm and half of the week i got to head back to class at 345pm n be there till like 500pm n by the time i finish, drive back home with the traffic . if im lucky ill b home by 6-7pm .

what more to say i injured my right arm at venice on friday, i cant even put it straight right now, luckly today its a holiday for me . but better get it ready by fri, cz snowboarding time is here again. and after that . i guess its hardwork all the way.. but i guess everythings comes with a price, how naive could i be when i thought leaving kch would straight land me on paradise, well i guess its paradise in it's own way . getting to exp things that i could never exp in Kuching .

its not that i dun wanna update, its just that i got caught up these days with my new routine, thats all .